Creating a Positive Outlook: Affirmations and Self-Care

There is true power in positivity. In this post, I’ll discuss the importance of positivity and developing self-confidence and how I practice daily, intentional positive thinking through affirmations and other routines.

Optimism and Self-Care

One technique I have previously spoken about on First Line is establishing a gratitude practice. This means intentional time to sit quietly and think about 5-10 things you are grateful for. You should pick a number and use the same number every day. It is probably best to start with 5 because it may be difficult to think of things to say if this is new to you. Over time, you can increase the number to 10, which I use. Decide when you’re going to complete this practice. It doesn’t matter when you choose, just that it’s consistent. I see the pros and cons of different times. I think the morning would work well to set yourself up for positive thinking that carries throughout the day. I also find practicing gratitude in the evening easier since you can think of what you are grateful for while reflecting on the day (and what went well for you). I find the morning to be better to reflect on the previous day. I like to do this while driving to work, but you’ll find the timing best. You may do this while brushing your teeth, running, or waiting for your coffee to brew. When you are doing this practice and getting the hang of it, I encourage you to be specific in what you are grateful for. Don’t just say you are grateful for your spouse; say that you are grateful that you get to spend the evening with your spouse or that your spouse called while you were at work to check on you. Also, I challenge you to think about 5-10 unique things you are grateful for daily. Otherwise, you may find yourself just listing the same things every day to get this done off your to-do list. That’s not what this practice is about; it’s about actually reflecting and thinking about all the positive elements of your life.

The next practice I suggest is to see opportunities in difficult situations. Next time you face a dilemma, think about the opportunity. It doesn’t have to be something positive about what is happening, just an opportunity. What can you learn from this? How can you spin this to gain something from this perceived dilemma or problem? Whenever I argue with my spouse, for example, I see it as an opportunity for us to intentionally understand each other better, both our behavior and our motivations. What others would see as a disagreement, I see as a stressor that forces us to strengthen our connection. Otherwise, we would have been moving forward as scheduled without any mindful decision to address our differences and seek understanding.

Another practice I recommend is reflecting on your strengths. This one doesn’t necessarily need to be a daily practice but maybe a once-in-a-while intentional activity. For this, the Enneagram hugely comes into play. Many teachers of the Enneagram believe that our biggest weaknesses are our biggest strengths, and I am inclined to believe in this also. Our deepest motivations and core beliefs help make up our personality and how we work with others. These characteristics are the gifts that make us different, so they are sources of talent (and what we can do better than others) but also sources of being misunderstood by others since not everyone has these characteristics. Reflecting on your strengths is an exercise that forces the development of self-confidence by thinking of ways to compliment yourself. However, the Enneagram also teaches that this is an opportunity to reflect on how others perceive these strengths. There may also be part of us that we see as a weakness, since it may have caused us interpersonal issues in the past, but this can be developed into a strength. Read my related blog posts on the Enneagram for more about how this plays out in each number, and listen to my Enneagram series on each number.

Daily practices that significantly impact positivity throughout the day include getting fresh air, spending time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, and exercising. You’ll get bonus points if exercising is your hobby and you exercise with your loved ones while getting fresh air.

Affirmations and Confidence

Here are my favorite affirmations that I give you full permission to steal for yourself:

I am grateful to live another day.

I am in control of my reactions.

I will make progress on my goals. 

I am confident.

I am capable. 

If you are a Christian, these are my favorites to add on:

I am made in the image of God.

Today I will exemplify Christ. 

I recommend starting with one and sticking with it every day for at least a month before deciding that affirmations are not for you. When you believe your affirmation, don’t stop; keep reciting it! When you are comfortable with one, you can add another, but I wouldn’t run down the whole list or they become diluted. Many people will recite their affirmations a few times a day. Put it as the lock screen on your phone. Others, like me, enjoy using these just in the mornings as part of a morning routine.

I’ll leave you with a few last things that don’t take long to say but can lead to work toward personal growth if you struggle in one of these areas. Knowing the Enneagram and working to become a healthier version of your number is vital (instead of following someone else’s version of personal development who may be a different Enneagram number than you).

Accept your flaws. 

Acknowledge your uniqueness. 

Set achievable goals. 

Reward yourself. 

Don’t compare yourself to other people. 

Accept compliments. 

Don’t engage in negative self-talk.

I would pick one right now to work on and reflect in one week about progress on these goals. What this looks like is vastly different for everyone, so this only serves as guidance as you start this journey. 

Listen here for the episode of First Line on this topic.