Enneagram 2: the Giver, Nurturer, and Supporter

There are nine ways of being in the world. Most people you encounter do not see the world the same as you. Understanding the Enneagram gives you a deeper understanding of yourself and allows you to form better relationships.

The Enneagram focuses on how you see the world, how you see yourself, and how you interact with others. You will never see people the same once you learn about the Enneagram and apply it to your life. If you are new to the Enneagram, start here.

Enneagram 2s are known as the giver, the nurturer, the helper, and the supporter. They prioritize making emotional connections with other people. You might say they have robust emotional intelligence. Along with this, they tend to be passionate and assertive. Their greatest desire is to be wanted, loved, appreciated, and seen as kind and helpful. Their unique characteristics include their big hearts, a focus on relationships, and an intuitive sense of what others need.

I like to think of the Enneagram 2s as the puppies of the Enneagram since they can become desperate for approval and love. You can also view them as cats (cuddly one second and free and independent the next).

Enneagram 2s are externally motivated. Similar to 1s, they are in the dependent stance and often look outwards to understand themselves. Unfortunately, they can sometimes need to be accepted by others to feel worthy or to feel good about themselves. They may shift to accommodate the needs of others instead of themselves.

2s use helping as a tool to meet their greatest need: to feel wanted. They first settle to feel needed by offering services and support. However, they hesitate to ask or accept help, as that would take away their value! Others may even perceive Enneagram 2s as overly helpful people who overstep boundaries.

The sin or the downfall of the 2s is pride, which you may not expect. 2s often have a reputation for helpfulness and selflessness, but any 2 (when honest) will tell you they often have selfish ambitions for that help. 2s in a more unhealthy space easily fall victim to thinking they know what is best for others and finding pride in that. They may also feel needed by others, which makes them feel important. 2s often get upset when they are disrespected or unappreciated.

With the Enneagram, all numbers move to other numbers in times of stress and others numbers in times of security. Enneagram 2 takes on some of the characteristics of Enneagram 8 in stress and of Enneagram 4 in security. When overwhelmed, they become more like the protector and challenger, which can intensify anger or passion, sometimes creating an emotional explosion. They become even more assertive and sometimes aggressive. However, they need this space to stand up for themselves and set boundaries. In security, they find a quiet presence, often in solitude, where they can recharge and spend time in their thoughts without their usual external focus.

The virtue of 2s, or their true talent once they dedicate time to self-improvement, is humility. Here is an idea to start with as an Enneagram 2 looking for personal growth: work on saying "no." Figure out what is yours to do because you often take on too much, not just physical but also emotional and spiritual work. 2s may struggle to meet their needs because they focus on other people.

For more on this topic, check out the related episode of First Line here. I also cover all of the lost childhood messages for each number.

View my other posts about the Enneagram:

• The Enneagram: 9 Different Worldviews

• The Enneagram 1: the Reformer, Idealist, and Critic
  

If you identify as a 2, share this post with those close to you so they can understand you deeper (like how you see the world and how your personality reflects that). If this post reminds you of someone, send them the link so they can learn about their possible type (since I believe that only individuals can type themselves).